Derek Anderson
Things has been tensed between the detectives since a certain Garou has come to their house with a few announcements to make. The life they thought they might be able to have, the one they wanted, wasn’t them to live. Not when Garou decides that they want to rule your life…even less when you’re Silver Fang.
A day has passed, with things left unsaid, with emotions being rein in maybe, with time to think about everything. The had take out for dinner tonight, a few things to do for work but now, unless they escapes to do something else, to keep their mind off the problem, they find themselves with nothing to do but talk about it..or sex. But the latter might just be pretend until everything is settled.
Dressed in t-shirt and jeans, Derek seeks Izzy out and watches for a moment before saying “So…feel like talking about Penelope’s visit?”
Izzy Montoya
Tense. Things had certainly been that, while Izzy fought with demons of her own, all brought to a head by the visit, bringing her own frailities to light in ways most unflattering. She’d spent hours the night before at the gun range, blowing through more ammunition than she has in a long while, searching for that calm, for that center, for that place where there’s nothing but her, where nothing can touch her, nothing can breach her defenses, nothing can harm her.
She got glimpses before she gave up, but that is all. He’s broken down too many of her walls…
But, life goes on, and Izzy is nothing if not a survivor, and she has faced much worse obstacles than an uppity Fang. She’s been working after dinner, finishing up some paperwork, doing a search or two on something else, busy work, really. Sitting at her desk, dressed in boxers and a tank top as she tends to do while at home, and smoking her way through her second pack of cigarettes today. She doesn’t usually smoke in the house, but when her minds a whirl, it’s the only thing she has to keep her steady, and calm.
At least she had the forethought to open the window.
He asks what she feels like – and she snorts, softly. “If I had my way, we’d pretend it never happened, and ignore them all. But as I’m sure you’re going to tell me that’s impossible…” She rolls a shoulder into a shrug, and reaches to put out her cigarette after a long drag. “Sure.”
Derek Anderson
He watches her, looking..hurt, maybe? Concerned sure, torn, definitely.. but also almost sad. He shakes his head a little at her words “I don’t think we can ignore it even if it would be easier and much more enjoyable. Not sure if moving away from Chicago was a good thing. I mean there we knew the players and they left us pretty much alone.
I might even have been able to do something about my family but now? Right on the verge of last weekend, this woman comes in and well, I doubt she’ll leave things alone. If she had her way, she might have put me in a cage by now.”
He frowns “Thing is..what do we want to do about all this..and more importantly..what can we do?”
Izzy Montoya
“There, Kora at least acknowledged I was worth more than the fucking empty contents of my uterus.” Occasionally, anyway. Here… well. She says it without spitting it though, because truth be told, she is tired. So tired of this fight. She runs her fingers through her hair, before lifting a foot to rest on the edge of her chair.
“I know what I want to do. I’m sure it won’t jive with anyone’s suggestion of what we can do. After all – we’re supposed t be obedient good little kinfolk, bowing and scraping and opening our legs and letting them rape and pillage and still be willing do their dirty work as they gleefully blame rage for every little trespass.”
Her hand falls to her lower belly, briefly, then away once she realizes she does it. “I’ve played that game. I won’t do it again. Not willingly.”
She finally looks up to meet his gaze, her own carefully guarded – though he can see glimpses of the tormoil within… he knows her better than anyone, and he alone can tell how it pains her to think of giving in, giving up… giving HIM up. “I want to fight. But what do you want to do?”
Derek Anderson
He nods, looking serious. “Yeah, I know. I mean that’s all Penelope wants. Tell me what to do, what she needs and I’ll have to make it happen. No matter how much it might fuck my life or my job. She’s the kind of Fang that makes me hate my tribe. But at the same time, I can turn my back on it. I have a duty to perform for my family and my tribe. I can’t shy away from it, even if I want to
We’re ops, we know about duty and sacrifice even if Garou think we don’t comprehend those things.” He lets out a long slow breath
“I don’t want to lose you Izzy. I really don’t. Problem is, they won’t let me. Penelope is the first, there might be others..there will be others and they will come over and over again until they fuck us up or they simply take me away and mate me to a random female”
He makes a face at that idea.
Izzy Montoya
She nods, slightly. She had expected much of what he said, had been preparing herself for it even. It’s what is expected of them as nice obedient little kin, after all.
Problem being – she’s not obedient, and she’s not about to start now.
Softly – and filled with emotion she’d rather be able to hide, but can’t. Not anymore. Not from him. “Just say it then.”
Derek Anderson
He moves closer, shaking his head softly “Say what? That we’re over? Do you really think I want to say something like that? Do you really think I want it?” He asks, looking into her eyes
“I’m happy with you Izzy. You get me, you care, you fit with me. I’ve never had that connection with anyone. Why would I want to stop all of that?
Problem is…someone will. If not this week then fucking soon. ” He moves to rest his butt on the edge of a desk “And if they do it…things will just be worst”
Izzy Montoya
“I don’t think you want too – but I think you are.”
She huffs a laugh that has zero amusement behind it, and turns her face to the window, where maybe he won’t see what it’s doing to her, what it’s costing her not to scream and fight and rail and…
She shakes her head, slightly, and lifts that shakes, slightly, to drag across her face, before she sighs. “They’ll never stop – because we never stop them. What we want – you’re saying it doesn’t matter. And because of that… it never will.”
Derek Anderson
He tilts his head at her words “Seriously Izzy…what do you want to do? Annoy them until they break into the house kidnap either one of us and move us out of the continent? Because they won’t kill us for standing up. That’s too easy and a waste for them .They forcefully mate us and have us be more a slave than a person. Some of them won’t care as long as they get laid and have kids.
They will isolate us and take from us what we are, cop, an individual, someone who might matter. and just make us playthings. Death I can handle..that..that will just crush me to be used like this and know you are probably suffering the same fate…tell me it’s not worst than just about everything?”
Izzy Montoya
“I would fight for you.” Softly said, before he utters the word ‘plaything’ and what he thinks will happen…
She explodes from the chair, stalking away, then back again to grab her cigarettes, only to toss them down again.”We are that NOW, Derek! What, you think it makes a difference if you give up what you want willingly, before they take it from you? It makes no difference… you are already being used. You are already their plaything.”
She shakes her head, slightly, and moves to the window, leaning in to rest her forehead against the cool glass, the reflection of her face distorted as she just… closes her eyes.
“but I’m not fighting you. You make the call – because I love you enough to let you go.” She’s never said the words out loud. She’s never given it voice, though she’s said it in a thousand ways. He knew. He had to have known. And he has to know what this sacrifice means, and how it is tearing her apart.
Derek Anderson
He watches her, silent. for a moment “Yeah, I think it makes a difference. Because I know we are already being used but at least letting go means things won’t get worst. We’re not living in a movie. If we fight, we won’t win, we’ll end up much worst than before.”
He move off from the desk “I know you don’t have much in the way of family, but I have my parents and siblings. Despite everything, I do love them and being kicked out of the tribe, of my family is something I have to think about as well.
If something happens to you then I will be completely alone. No family, no tribe, no one I can turn to if whatever else is lurking around decides to notice me. It’s just logical to have back up. You never know what can happen. Don’t feel like ending up in a BSD Hive or something
Thing is Izzy…we’re fucked no matter what we so right now. What I don’t know is..what’s the best course of action.”
Izzy Montoya
He mentions ending up in a bsd hive or something, and she visibly winces. Her teeth clench, so hard her jaw will ache later, and she has to take a moment to breathe again, to force the memories away again. She knows what can happen.
Then she pushes against the window, her grip on the sill tight, until she forces herself to relax, to let go. He’s hit all the buttons – in succession – and in the end, he fears being alone. And through it all – he won’t say it.
So she does. “I’ll make it easy for you then, and name what you see as your only real choice. Go to Penelope. Repent of the hideous shame of soiling your sheets with the likes of me, and be protected.”
She’ll take on the blame for this, too.
Derek Anderson
He shakes his head “You don’t get it. I don’t want to. I don’t regret it. None of it. I won’t apologize for what I’ve done because if I had to do it again, I would. I’ll see Penelope tomorrow but for completely other reasons.”
He look at her “You know better than anyone what can happen. I on’t know about your tribe but mine will not change it’s mind once I’m out. Pretty sure yours won’t take me in.”
He shakes his head. He knew it would happen. That’s why he never dated kin before. Why he never tried anything with Cordelia, said no to August and should have said no to Izzy. But he had fallen for her. And now, the road might end here. Might..probably will.
They could be stubborn and stretch it… but Penelope or someone else will come and just stop it, without being polite about it either.
“You know I love you Izzy..I don’t want this at all”
Izzy Montoya
“Then what do you want.” The question is soft, but she’s already heard what he’s going to do in what he’s said, what he won’t put voice too, and keeps side stepping. She doesn’t side step. She never has – and she won’t now.
She moves to her desk, and starts to gather her files and laptop, placing them in her briefcase, and snapping the locks closed. She runs her fingers over the desk, lightly, then just turns to him, finally, and lets him see the naked emotion in her gaze – everything there, [pain, so much pain – love and sorrow, a willingness to fight, and the lost look of one who knows she’d fight alone. Loss. keen and sharp and bleeding raw] and open for the briefest of moments, before she turns away, and heads out of the room so that she can get dressed.
Derek Anderson
He look back at her. Fang and Fenrir, both different and yet similar tribes. Both knew about strength and honour. Both were stubborn as hell, both thought they were always right. Both knew about duty and sacrifice.
Yet everything was about how you perform or see those notions. Fenrir often acted for personal glory, out of personal honour. Silver Fang..they put others before themselves…they put the tribe before their personal well being. At least the worthy one were.
He knows he’s going to hate himself for it, for hurting her, for “messing” them up because of his tribe. If he had been a Gnawer, a Glass Walker, Child of Gaia or most other tribes it wouldn’t have mattered.
But he is Silver Fang and should know better. Izzy…Izzy is just so damn perfect that he lost his focus and fell for her. But now everything was catching up to him…Family, Tribe, Duty…and of course they had to crash everything when it was going so perfectly.
He tries to speak, say something to make everything less terrible, to maybe keep her here despite knowing it would get them in so much trouble. But he doesn’t. Sacrificing his/their happiness in hope that she’ll live longer than if they start facing the anger of his tribe.
Another thing the two tribes had in common, they were both ruthless.
Izzy Montoya
He says nothing, in the end, and that is when the dam breaks, and the tears fall – tears that she will not let him see. He says nothing to halt her walk, and so she moves to their – no, his – room, and the closet and pulls on her clothing, straps on her weapons, and slips on her shoes. She does it silently, without a sound, without any hint but the slow trail of tears she bushes aside, condemning the moisture to die in a swipe of her hands across her thigh.
She lifts her chin then, and pulls on the mask she had worn so often, carefully raising the walls she’d let him behind, let him see, let him tear down piece by piece. She wills it into place again, with a clench of her jaw, and set of her shoulders, the strength of her walk. She returns to the office to grab her briefcase, and pauses for just a moment… just a bare moment, to look at him, to memorize everything about this moment – if only to remind her why she can never go through it again.
There are a thousand things she could say, maybe that she even should say – but he made his choice before he even began to speak, even if he couldn’t say it, wouldn’t say it. So in the end, she makes it easy for him, and takes the blame on her self, and makes the cut with her own blade in the form of her last words.
“I’ll send for my things.”
And she turns her back then, and heads down the stairs.
She would have fought. She would have stayed. And maybe, maybe there could have been some resolution – but he had given up before the talk had begun.
Fenrir fight to the bitter end. Silver Fangs….
…don’t.