[Santiago Durante] [Danny Jones]
She takes her spoon from the little girl, and watches her as she answers the questions, and grins over at Santiago – shameless, she is. “Ok – well. If someone ain’t gonna have no babies, an’ ain’t married, but has a boyfriend – someone’s they likes an awful lot, would it be ok to kiss then? Say, if’n they’s 16 or so, or maybe older, an’ a grown up? Does they gotta be mommy an’ daddy’s first?”
Pause, and a grin. “An boys yer age ARE gross. They gotta get over the whole booger pickin stage before they start gettin better.” Nods. She scoops out her first bite of ice cream and plops it between her lips to suck on as she waits for the little girls answers. She’s gonna be a hella questioner of authority when she grows up if Danny has anything to do with it.
[Santiago Durante]
“I dunno,” she says again, cramming a spoonful of ice cream into her mouth and sucking on it until she can come up with an answer to her playmate’s question. Santiago is simply sitting back and watching the proceedings.
In the distance, a gun goes off. Or perhaps it is a car backfiring. It is difficult to tell the two apart, and given the fact that the two do not react to it, but the party in the backyard falls momentarily silent… it is probably a firearm. This is a common occurrence in this neighborhood, particularly around this time of year.
The matter at hand remains so, even after Carolina has swallowed her spoonful, and she has not forgotten it.
“I guess it would be okay. It’s still icky, though.”
[Danny Jones] She laughs softly and winks at Santiago as she scoops up more ice cream and lets Carolina come to her conclusion. She scratches the side of her nose with a finger, before she ads anything else, her eyes straying toward the direction where that shot came from and lingering. Something in her spine gives away the tension, the alertness, before it fades away, inching away in a slow drain, completely opposite of how fast it arrived.
Her full attention returns to her bo.. to Santi, and the little girl. “So – it’s icky but ok. I’m sure you’re uncle will be pleased to hear it. Cuz he was SO about to kiss me….”
She grins and inches away from any swat that is aimed her way – well deserved, too.
[Santiago Durante] “Ewww,” Carolina intones, the elongated utterance stuttering away into giggling as Santiago’s lips curve into a slow smile and he makes as if to cuff the Ragabash in the ear.
Of the three Durante boys, it is rumored that Santiago is the most calm, the most serious in addition to being the youngest, the least entrenched in their society. Danny has no doubt heard stories of the trouble that Rafael and Augusto, the middle boy, have gotten into over the years. There are no such stories about Santiago. He is the one their mother worries about least.
“Don’t worry, Cari,” he says now, taking a healthy spoonful of ice cream out of the carton he has decided to share with Danny. “We won’t kiss in front of you.”
“Good.”
[Danny Jones] She can’t help the laughter as she rights herself, and wiggles her brows at Santi, before willingly sharing her carton of ice cream. That right there is proof of how much she likes him, if anyone thought about it much. She willingly shares, even gives him the first bite, often times. She carries extras home for the family – but even then, with the exception of the little girl who rightfully comes first for all of them – Santi gets first choice of her portion of whatever it is they have.
She can’t help the blush, the way color slips across her cheeks, whenever she thinks about him. Months ago it was the Capt’n that’d tip her emotions upside down, but this… this is entirely different. This… this is something new.
“Well, for tonight at least.” She adds, and then grins at Carolina. “So, what did you do today, chica? And what’s on the schedule for the rest of the evening? OH! That reminds me…”
She grins, and digs into one of the always fulla somethin’ pocket of her cargo shorts and pulls out a soft bit of a scarf that she had found in Lake View dumpsters not long ago. She pulls and pulls and pulls, until the soft scarf is free. She sets her ice cream down and then slings the scarf – pretty floral pinks and purples and colds – around the little girl’s neck. “I found this in a dumpster in Lake View – it’s got that hole in it there, in the middle. Thought maybe we could fashion some stuff for your Barbie’s outa it… I ain’t too savvy in the whole sewin thing, but together we can make it work huh? Maybe with Mama’s help?”
[Santiago Durante] At the unveiling of her present, Carolina forgets all about her ice cream, anchors it between her bare knees and claps her hands as Danny pulls and pulls and pulls the scarf out of her shorts. If there is anything to be said about the Bone Gnawers, it is their appreciation of the finer things life has to offer, the simple pleasures that can be found where others do not bother to look. The idea of turning to a Dumpster for sustenance is not a concept many people can grasp, yet for the street rats, it is one of life’s first lessons. Many of Carolina’s toys are secondhand, bought from a Salvation Army or recovered from garage sales, picked out of trash cans. It is a very big deal for this little girl when she receives a present of any sort.
“Thank you, Danny!” she squeals, throwing her thin arms around the other girl’s neck and squeezing her into a hug that smells of bubble gum and child’s sweat.
Given the fact that the last time Rafael took Carolina into a toy store, half the children in the place grew terrified at his mere presence, there is a reason her father does not bring home anything new for her. With only four Barbie dolls to her name, a handful of Tonka trucks, a bucket of Legos that are battered and chewed on and barely fit together anymore… she treasures everything she is trusted with.
“Abuela said she would teach me how to use the sewing machine when I got old enough. Maybe she’ll show you!”
[Danny Jones] She hugs the girl with a grin, smoothing her curls back from her forehead as she chuckles. “You’re welcome kiddo. It was so girly lookin I figured it had your name written all over it.”
She doesn’t go into stores much herself – lurking instead in alleyways, around back doors, digging in dumpsters for dinner before she decides to set patrons and workers on edge herself and entering establishments. She’s not as bad as Decker Rohl, of course, but she still has that edge, that nagging that makes people worry, and step aside, and hold their kids a little closer just in case.
She does, however, know how to work it when she needs to, just to put a smile on a little girls face. “I ain’t so sure I have the patience for that, mija, but we’ll see.” She grins and ruffles those curls again before taking another bite of her ice cream. The look she gives Santiago is a self- conscious ‘Don’t tell anyone I’m really a softy’ kinda shrug and grin.
[Santiago Durante] In molasses-slow response to the shot fired almost four minutes ago, there comes the wailing of a police siren from the northwest. Violence is a fact of life in the projects, and it does not seem as if the public safety sector is able to keep up with the influx this time of year. Not when there are fires breaking out left and right, not when people are drowning and stabbing each other and beating each other with tire irons and baseball bats for no reason other than unchecked human rage.
Santiago and Carolina don’t even blink.
The little girl toys with the colorful scarf she has been bestowed with, and giggles at Danny’s confession, at her use of Spanish.
“Are you still teaching Danny Spanish?” she asks.
“I’m trying my best. She catches on pretty quick. Your daddy better watch out.”
“Where is Daddy, anyway?”
“I don’t know, baby.”
“Is he with Mister Jon and Brodie?”
“Probably. He’ll be back soon.”
“I miss him.”
“I know, baby. Eat your ice cream.”
One last traipse of fingertips across the stitching of the scarf, and Carolina picks up her carton and begins to eat in earnest again.
“We were thinking of going for a walk down to the park,” Santiago says. “It’s suppose to rain, though, so I think we might just stay in and watch a movie. See if that popcorn maker still works. You down?”
[Danny Jones] They don’t blink, but Danny does. It’s more of a flick of her lashes, her gaze in that direction, before returning to them. It’s quick, but it is there. The stiffening in her spine, however, is likely because Jon, Brodie and Rafi are out causing havok and she wasn’t invited. She loves the boys, the family, the pack – but this waiting…
…it’s wearing on her. She forces the feeling away again, and smiles at the little girl. “He taught me all the bad words first. Like ‘kissing’ and stuff.”
She nods to the suggestion though, and her smile is easy, the tension bleeding away again, slowly. It’s her moon. Moods shift and churn and change and slide through her skinny ass frame, but she does her best to keep everything at bay around them. “Course I’m down – what movie we watchin?”
[Santiago Durante] “Little Mermaid!” Carolina announces, just barely remembering to swallow before opening her mouth. Despite her father having the manners of a caveman, Mama Isabel has imbued some sense of politeness in the little girl. She is only seven, after all. Rafael can’t use that excuse.
“I wanted to watch Street Fighter,” Santiago says.
“We watched that last time.”
“Not as many times as we’ve watched Little Mermaid.”
Joining in the call of the police sirens, there comes the keening of an ambulance. The city is revolting against itself, against the violence that is so inherent in its nature.
“So?”
“You may have noticed we don’t have a wide selection of tapes,” Santiago says. “I suggested going to Blockbuster, but she’s perfectly content to watch Little Mermaid for the eight hundredth time.”
[Danny Jones] She blinks. And laughs. “Little mermaid vs. Street fighter. Quite a variety there…” she scratches the back of her neck with blunt nails and pretends to think about it for a loooooong minute. And then she tips her head at Carolina. “Or… we could watch the tape in the side pocket of my backpack. I brought it all the way from Florida – ain’t get much chance to watch it, but it’s always there for when I get the chance. Might be a good change or somethin like that……”
She grins at them both, but doesn’t say what it is. She’s gonna get teased, anyway, so she just waits for the inevitable.
“you can go peek an’ see what it is if ya want…”
[Santiago Durante] “Okay!”
Ice cream half-finished is set down on the porch behind her, and Carolina springs to her feet, nearly kicking Santiago in the arm in her excitement. Her sandaled feet thump across the way before stopping at Danny’s backpack, and her little fingers encounter some difficulty with the zipper.
As his niece fiddles with the zipper, Santiago reaches over and snags another spoonful of ice cream from Danny’s carton, then leans back on his elbows and reclines on the steps, his bare feet crossing one over the other at the ankle, the heel of one resting on the filthy sidewalk butting up to the wooden step. The sirens have quieted now; a stillness, fleeting though it may be, settles over the neighborhood.
[Danny Jones] She rushes off, and Santiago leans in for ice cream, and Danny doesn’t waste the opportunity, sliding her fingers around the back of his neck, her skin chilled from holding the ice cream, and she steals a quick, promise filled kiss while the little girl’s back is turned.
She pulls back with a sly grin, and then watches Carolina fiddle with her pack. When she returns – there’s not one, but two movies in there. The first – Treasure Planet, which is the one she was referring too that might be a nice meeting in the middle between the previous choices. The other one, if she dug it out? The Sound of Music.
Let the teasing begin.
[Santiago Durante] If Danny was expecting teasing from a seven-year-old girl, she might then be surprised to find that none is forthcoming. The little girl plops herself down into a cross-legged position, not giving a good god damn that her underoos are showing, and pulls out the first movie to read the description on the back. Santiago, for his part, is too distracted to pay much attention to what his niece is doing. Danny’s lips against his have taken away whatever desire he’d had to look elsewhere, and it is all he can do to not make a sound as he kisses her back.
“Damn, girl, your hands are cold,” he breathes when they pull apart, and he shifts his weight to allow himself to reach up and hold the Ragabash’s fingers in the palms of his meaty hands.
“I haven’t seen these,” Carolina says, trooping back over to sit between them, a movie in each hand.
[Danny Jones] She expects teasing, but is more then happy to get the reaction from Santiago instead, color traipsing across her cheeks as she watches her smaller hand swallowed by his. “Ice cream” is the only explanation. Hard to believe her hands could be cold with the rest of her so warm – and not just from the heat lingering in the Chicago night air. Instead, it has everything to do with the man near her, holding her hand, the one who’s lips she can still feel against her own.
It takes a moment before she turns her head to look at Carolina again, with a lopsided grin. “Well, that one – that’s a favorite of mine since I was a little girl. I know all the songs, but I ain’t sing too good. Mama Anne, she’d sing to me when I was scared at night. Treasure planet is a newer one – animated, a cartoon. It’s all adventure and pirates and treasure hunts in space and stuff – it’s awesome. You’re choice, nina.”
She doesn’t quite look up at Santi to see if he’s gonna tease her about the sound of music…
[Santiago Durante] “I want to watch this one,” she says, holding up The Sound of Music to illustrate the ‘this one’ in question. “I’ll put the other one back.”
“She can be taught,” Santiago intones.
“Hey! I put things away!”
“I’m just teasing you, baby.”
His hands continue to provide a warming pressure against Danny’s, a transfer of heat combining with the power of her Rage to slowly bring the flesh back to its rightful temperature. When he is satisfied with the result he pulls her hands up by the fingertips and presses a kiss on the back of one set and then the other. Then her hands are released back into the wild, and he pushes himself to his feet to begin cleaning up the mess they’ve made.
“Your room’s dirty,” Carolina fires back.
“It’s just messy.”
“Daddy says he found ants once.”
“You believe everything your daddy tells you?”
“Yeah. Daddy doesn’t lie.”
Santiago looks over at Danny, a sheepish smile coming across his face, before he takes up the now trash-filled plastic bag and ruffles her hair. His feet sound out on the porch, and he picks up Danny’s bookbag.
“Okay, maybe once there were ants…”
“Ewwww!”
[Danny Jones] She can’t stop the grin across her face as the little girl choses her favorite movie of all time, and she nods her agreement. “Good choice. We’ll watch the other next time.” Even as she says it though, she’s highly attuned to the the touch of Santiago across her fingers, the brush of his lips, everything that makes her heart beat faster, her lips fall quiet, her breath to quicken.
He releases her, and she ducks her head with a blush, and helps clean up the mess, before standing with a chuckle. “His room IS a mess. Why you think I keep everything in my pack? Scared it might get lost an’ then I’ll have to fight your daddy for ya uncle’s shirts so I ain’t go around dressed only in my underoos!”
She shakes her head as she wrinkles her nose. “Ants! That’s gross! Maybe I start bunkin’ with Carolina!”
[Santiago Durante] “It was just that one time! We killed them!”
Laughter, then, at being virtually ganged up on by the two girls separated by a decade. Santiago holds the door open for Carolina as she gathers up her Barbie dolls, and she tears inside, the lights on her sandals flashing pink as her feet hit the floor in turn.
When it comes time to watch the movie, Carolina sits between her uncle and Danny so that when she grows tired, as will inevitably happen when the hour grows as late as it does, she can lean into Danny’s side, revel in the feel of an arm around her. She is an independent girl, even at such a young age, and when her father is not around, she does not seek comfort from the only other male available. It is safe to seek out hugs from Mama Isabel, from Danny. Or perhaps she simply misses her mother. There are nights she awakens in tears, crying out for her mother, the night’s silence shattered by the sound of Rafael tearing up the stairs and hurrying into her room to attempt to talk her down from a nightmare. Those nights are few and far between, but they have happened at least once when Danny has been over. The episodes usually end with Rafael sitting out on the porch, chain smoking. It has been over a year since the previous pack fell apart, since Veronica was killed, and no one’s life has returned to normal.
When the movie is over, Carolina rubs at her eyes and says, “I wanna watch it again!”
“Now?” Santiago grouses.
“No, not now. Tomorrow.”
“Oh, okay, tomorrow. We can do tomorrow.”
[Danny Jones] Sitting there, with the little girl between them, Danny arranges herself so that she and Carolina are comfortably leaning on each other, with the added benefit of allowing her free hand to reach up behind her, and wrap into Santiago’s hand when/if he stretches his arm across the back of the couch. And she does sing the songs along to Carolina – thankfully, quietly. Because her voice – not so grand. But she loves the movie and indeed knows it by heart. Every last bit of the 2 hour long musical.
She has heard the nightmare screams, and it makes her heart hurt. She never knew her own mama, but has seen a lot of other losses, and she hates to see the girl ache, or Rafi either. She’s spent many nights watching him chainsmoke, and only talking when he feels it necessary – there to simply be there for him, not because she has any comfort other then that. For some things, there is no comfort ata ll.
After the movie, when Carolina crows that she wants to watch it again, Danny’s smile is triumphant. Another convert to the best movie of all time! “You kin watch it as many times as you want. We’ll keep it in with your pile o’movies for now, ok? The other one too if you want.”
Share and share alike.
[Santiago Durante] “Okay!”
Moving sluggishly, the hour grown late and the time for bed growing dangerously close, Carolina enacts a full-body stretch, little arms and legs elongating as she reaches for the ceiling, the coffee table. The tape winds on through the credits, Santiago refusing to move to do something so pointless as pause an antiquated VCR.
“Go brush your teeth, abuela gonna ream me out if she comes home and finds out you’re still up.”
“Hah, hah,” Carolina informs him as she slides off the couch and marches towards the stairs.
“Yeah, you’d think that’s real funny, wouldn’t you?”
“Uh huh!”
It isn’t until her footsteps announce her ascent up the stairs that Santiago turns and rests his hand against the back of Danny’s head, fingertips finding their way into hair that has been growing longer without outrunning the dye’s reach. It is still the same color it was when he met her.
“You wanna stay the night?”
[Danny Jones] She watches the little girl until she’s out of sight, laughing as the two banter back and forth. But then his hand is in her hair, and her smile is for him alone as she slides her fingers along his hand, arm and over his side.
“I thought you’d never ask.”
She chuckles softly, and with a peek in the direction their little charge has taken off in, she scoots closer, so she can curl up against him, relaxing finally with a contented sigh. “Though – you PROMISE you got all them ants out?” The grin slides teasingly across her lips as she peers suspiciously up at him.
[Santiago Durante] “Fucking Rafi…”
He laughs, quietly, the hand that had been in her hair traipsing along her shoulders to hook about her arm as she draws in nearer, the heat of her body coming in to warm his, to blast through the thin barrier of his wife beater. In the silence he can feel her heart beating against his chest.
“This was at our old house. I forgot to throw out an apple core or something stupid, and ants got into my room. Do you think the little asshole lets me live it down?”
[Danny Jones] That brings soft laughter, as her fingers slide around him to hold him close, the warmth of him chasing all other thoughts from her mind that don’t revolve around him, and the way he makes her breath quicken, her heart beat faster, the way he feels against her.
“Of course not – what kinda brother would he be if he did?” She tips her head and presses a kiss up under his jaw. “And your talking to the girl who lives in a box in an alleyway most times – you think I care about silly ants? Ain’t nuthin till ya rolled over and start to itch an’ realize the dog that snuck in ya box is covered in fleas…”
[Santiago Durante] “Yeah, I can see that sucking pretty bad.”
For a family that had at one time been housing eight people in a three-bedroom trailer, living in a part of the country that was terrorized by tornadoes that could raze entire trailer parks in a matter of second, privy to the knowledge that there are vile, terrible things out there lurking in the darkness and stalking people like Rafael, like Danny… ants were honestly the least of their concerns. That doesn’t mean Rafael isn’t going to fulfill his brotherly duties and do things like tell his daughter that her uncle was a slob.
Why Santiago even bothers trying to deny this fact is difficult to figure out, until one realizes that for being a family of Gnawers, everyone else, particularly Mama, is tidy. Even Rafael, who one would accuse first and foremost of being a disgusting son of a bitch, picks up after himself. And he belches and farts and picks his nose in front of other people. Yet another of life’s mysteries.
“Let’s get Carolina put to bed. I’m beat.”
[Danny Jones] She arches a brow as she looks up at him. “That tired huh? Maybe I shouldn’t stay… you might get ideas, and then be even more exhausted later…” There’s a tease lacing through her voice, and there’s no doubt that even if he wanted to just sleep, she’d stay over. Just to be close, to feel that connection, to revel in what others take so easily for granted.
She stands though, and holds out her hand for him to help the poor working boy up and out of the seat. “I suppose I could try that ‘talking to your boyfriend’ thing everyone raves about though – if I have too…”
[Santiago Durante] Although he does take her hand, he does not allow Danny the satisfaction of truly hauling his carcass off the couch, opting instead to use his own strength to hoist himself standing. Once there he squeezes what little flesh there is to be found on the girl’s side and bends down to kiss her on the lips, once, quickly.
“You don’t have to. I’m certainly not going to make you.”
With that, he runs a hand down Danny’s upper arm and gives her a small smile, one that attempts to be endearing despite the fact that it is surrounded by facial stubble and attached to a boy that has to awaken bright and early to drive harried cab passengers to the airport. It attempts, and might have even possibly succeeded, were he to spend more time on the effort. Instead, he holds out a hand for her to take and leads her upstairs, ignoring the fact that the television is still on, the VCR still playing.
Upstairs, Carolina has climbed into her pajamas and brushed her teeth, and is sitting under the covers waiting for good nights to be had. Santiago goes first.
“Daddy’s not coming home tonight, is he.”
“He might.”
“But he won’t.”
“He’ll be home soon, baby. We’ll be right across the hall, okay?”
“Okay.”
“And abuela‘ll be home later tonight.”
“Okay.”
“So you’re not alone.”
“I just miss Daddy.”
“We miss him too, baby. Danny wants to say goodnight.”
With that, he is out of the girl’s bedroom, flicking off the light behind him.
[Danny Jones] She laughs softly, and presses up into that kiss. “Maybe I want too. We’ll see.” It’s a good sign that he didn’t balk at the word Boyfriend – right? Henry said they should maybe talk, but she doesn’t know. Baby steps. What they have doesn’t really need a label for anything other then convenience when speaking to others.
She knows he’s tired, she can sense it, can feel it, can see it in his eyes. She steals another kiss, though, and follows him upstairs.
Once he’s said his goodnights, she heads hops on the little girls bed and makes sure she’s all tucked in, in a vigorous and tickling manner until the little girl dissolves into giggles. “You know what?” She starts off. “you know how some folks, they kin known things without anyone else knowin or hearin? Well. I kin do that with yer daddy an’ brodie an’ jon. And I kin promise ya he’s jus’ fine.” She grins, and then.. “Hang on. I be right back.”
She slips out again, holds up a finger for Santiago to wait, and takes the stairs down two at a time. In the kitchen, she digs in the recycling bin for the two- 1 liter bottls she saw in there before. A few moments, and she’s filled one with water – digs around the cupboards for some food color, adds enough red to make pink, and found her duct tape to wind around the mouths of the bottles to affix them together. A test, and she nods, satisfied, and brings the concoction back up the stairs.
“Lookie here.” she starts, as she hops up on the bed again, bathed only in the warm glow of the night light. “Ya know how yer daddy an’ Jon an’ bordie an’ me, we all like Twisters? An’ ya know how they swirl around an’ shit? Watch.” She turns the bottle upside down, and as the water in the top bottle flows into the bottom, it creates a cyclone, a mini-twister made of water. She grins, satisfied with her little toy. “Now, when ya miss ya daddy, ya reach over here and flip it upside down, an’ say hello to him. He’ll hear ya, I betcha anything.”
[Santiago Durante] “Ooo…”
Childhood is an age where even the simplest of tricks will fascinate the mind, set it to wondering and imagining, and the new toy Danny has concocted for the youngest Durante to ponder has her attention rapt and hooked. As Danny sets the bottle on the nightstand, and the water swirls its way through the conjoined mouths of the bottle, Carolina sits up and watches. The mini-twister and its fixture to her father is noted, and the little girl reaches out to touch the plastic.
“Okay.”
With that, Carolina settles herself down beneath the thin comforter, the even thinner sheet, pulling both up to her chin as she rolls onto her side to watch the twister as it catches the pale pink glow of the light night.
“Night, Danny.”
Even after Danny has left the room, she continues to keep her gaze fixed to the vortex beside her. By the time the last pulse of water has been sucked to the bottom, her eyes have closed, and she has fallen asleep.
Across the hall, Santiago is sitting on the edge of his own bed, the bedside lights illuminating every dirty plate, every strewn pair of jeans. Rafael had left a towel slung over the open door of Santiago’s dresser chest when last he came in trolling for clothing that was far too large for his skinny frame, and for some reason the younger brother has not had the heart to remove it. He is looking at a picture that sits on one of the bedside tables, an outdoor picture of the five Durante siblings sitting on the steps of a trailer, two girls and three boys, all of them smiling in the warm Oklahoma springtime. Santiago had given each of the bodies names, Julieta and Augusto and Marisol, had given them professions and ages, had stated with no want for wistfulness that one day the three would be joining the family, the pack, in Chicago. Some professions are harder than others to translate into instant portability.
When Danny comes in, he gives her a smile, and sits back on the bed, hands linked together behind his head.
“So did that mean you wanted to talk about something?”
[Danny Jones] She leans down and presses a kiss to Carolina’s forehead, and murmurs a soft goodnight to her, before she tiptoes out and makes her way across the hall to join Santiago. She scratches the back of her neck, slightly, as if she’d been caught playing and keeping the little girl awake, even if she was instead making her feel better, and giving her a connection to Rafi even while he’s away. She might even see about someone turning it into a talon – something that’d come and get one of the pack should Carolina need help. She’ll have to think bout it though, an’ check with Caleb an see if he can work it out. A water spirit maybe, or plastic. Somethin.
Anyway, back to that body on the bed that is all reclined across the room. She grins at him and shrugs, a little, as color pops high in her cheeks once again. She wrinkles her nose, and slides her fingers through her hair, as she picks her way across the room with graceful ease, and lowers herself onto the bed with him. “I dunno. I…” she pauses, and chuckles. “The moon’s dark. Moods go weird, ya know?” a pause, and a rueful grin. “was talkin with Henry – somehow got on the talk of boys an’shit, an you an… I dunno. I jus’ wondering how we’s doin, what’s we’s doin, where we headin and stand an also scared to ask cuz maybe youd say to jus’ forget it cuz we gettin too deep, or maybe ain’t gettin deep at all an’….”
pause. “I mentioned th’moon, right?” She drops her head into her hands and groans under her breath. “Sometimes I’m SUCH a girl…”
[Santiago Durante] “Whoa, back up, cowgirl, who the fuck’s Henry?”
In his mind, it’s a legitimate question, inquiring as to the identity of a guy he’s never met nor seen before. Especially when the topic of conversation with said guy has something to do with him. The inner workings of a young man’s mind are a dark and strange wonder to behold, and that may very well be why so few people are privy to what they actually are.
Hell, sometimes, even the young man himself isn’t quite sure what’s going on in his own head. Something to do with decreased blood flow to the area during times of stress, arousal… simply being in the presence of an attractive female… it’s a wonder they’re able to open a bottle of beer or start a car, sometimes.
[Danny Jones] She… blinks. And turns her head to look at him. “Huh? Henry? He’s just a guy I.. Kn…ooooooooooooooh…” She ain’t no dummy, really, and she smiles as she arches a brow. “He’s a friend. Paramedic, buys me the occasional whopper. Works for the city, an’ is in love with an’ fuckin one of my tribemates.” Pause. “Named Tristan.”
She grins at him and reaches over to nudge his thigh with her hand. “Ya big goof. I ain’t never gave ya no reason to be jealous – I wouldn’t do that.” Though maybe it kinda answered at least one lil question in her rediculous girly rant, huh?
[Santiago Durante] “He’s a maricón?”
That seems to make him feel better, clears the path for him to pay mind to the more important piece of her earlier outpouring. It at least causes his voice to lower, the jealous notes that had been struck fading away into the distance. Hard to be jealous of a gay guy, for Christ’s sake.
“So what was the question, linda? You asked like ten of them.”
[Danny Jones] She nods, chuckling. “Si, a maricon.”
She sighs softly, pulling up her bare feet to tuck under her crisscross applesauce, elbows resting on her knees, her chin in her hands. The jealousy fades away, but it still helped her find some sort of footing. Jealousy – even momentarily – means good things, right?
“I’m just… I dunno. Worried that one mornin I’ll wake up, an’ you’ll tell me not to come back, an’ I’ll lose you, and maybe Rafi an’ Mama an’ Carolina an’ all at the same time… an’ I get scared sometimes, that ya just like my ass, an’…. shit. I dunno. I’m bein a stupid girl… Maybe I jus.. wanted to know… if we still jus’ fuckin round, or if they’s more there… on yer end an’ all.”
[Santiago Durante] With her admission of unknowing, Santiago pulls in a big, audible breath and hauls himself up, first to rest on his elbows and then to sit completely, reaching out to rest a hand on her back.
“On my end, there isn’t anything complicated. I like you, I like having you around, and I have fun with you. I don’t want you going nowhere, and I don’t think we’re fucking around anymore. I mean, I don’t wanna get married or nothing, but that doesn’t mean I think we’re still just fucking around, neither.”
[Danny Jones] His hand finds her back, and he can feel the tension that rests there as she waits for his answer. And he can feel it start to drain again as it comes. And the shake that follows with her soft laughter as she plucks the piece of leather around her neck, and shows the toy ring she still wears every day. “we done already got hitched, or have ya forgot already?”
She takes a breath, an’ nods, and scrubs her hands through her hair again. “I jus… I like you too, an love it here with you an’ ya family, an bein part of a pack an’ family again, an having you look at me like ya do. I jus’ ain’t wanna get played again, I ain’t wanna get all stupid an’ then get so hurt like I did before. An’ we always have better things to do an’ talk bout then the nitty gritty of us, ya dig? I jus… I dunno. Henry said somethin about my boyfriend an I suddenly got all nervous that it weren’t somethin ya wanted to be called, that we wasnt there, or might not get there, or were there an’ I didn’t really notice jus’ let it sneak up on me an’ I wanna make sure we’s ok, an that… I dunno. UGH.”
She tosses up her hands, laughingly frustrated. “I ain’t never think bout the capt’n like I used ta. Never. I always think bout you – an’ how long till I get to see you again, an’ how cute ya look drivin along in ya cab… an maybe, I jus.. was hoping that ya thought that way too. that we’s a we… not just a he an’ me fuckin. Ya know? Though they CERTAINLY ain’t no reason at ALL to stop the that…. just in case ya was wondering an’shit…”
[Santiago Durante] ((PAUSAGE FEST))